Status UpdatesThe Ultimate Collection Of Best Facebook Status

Facebook is the voice of people.So most of the times Amazing facebook status updates reflects the actual mood of the person.Are you in a lighter mood and ready to have some laughs? Sometimes Status updates includes referencing friends, groups or even events they are attending — for instance, posting “I’m heading to Starbucks Coffee Company — anyone want some coffee?”.

Status Updates

Opens a pack of gum Bam! Everyone’s your best friend.

A bad experience or a horrifying incident may scar one’s attitude or thinking for a lifetime.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A contract is fair as long as both the parties understand and agree to the conditions willingly, after a deal is closed neither side can turn around and say that he was unfairly treated.

A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn’t any Santa Claus, and he’s still upset.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

A good reputation is precious, difficult to earn and cannot be bought.

A hint or suggestion can be accepted and acted upon without further elaboration.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

A lot of people tend to hurt their own chance at success because of negative-mindedness, fear, ignorance, unresolved issues.

A person who can do almost everything rarely excels in any of them.

A person who has a fault should not point out the same fault in another, do not criticize another person as you may have the same weakness.

A pot of milk is ruined by a drop of poison.

A small incident can reveal an important event.

A word to the wise is enough.

After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!

Always be aware of what you are getting yourself into.

An extremely proud person runs the risk of being humbled in front of everyone.

Anyone has the right to look at or speak to anyone else without having to worry about status, position, upbringing etc.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Avoid evil and it will avoid thee.

Before you begin to hope about possessing something, make sure you are qualified for it.

Being honest is believed to be the best route to take.

Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.

Better to be alone than in bad company.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Bitter pills may have blessed effects.

Both parties in a quarrel should share the blame or take responsibility for it, no one can start a quarrel all by himself.

Bread always falls buttered-side down.

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Chance favors the prepared mind.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Cheese… milk’s leap toward immortality.

Children should not interrupt when adults are talking.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Clothes make the man.

Crimes and wickedness are associated with money.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Discord breaks up families.

Do as I saw, and not as I do.

Do not be presumptuous and teach an experienced person how things should be done.

Do not be so foolish as to destroy the source of your good fortune out of pride, greed, anger etc.

Do not change things that are working fine as they are.

Do not cross a bridge till you come to it.Musicmastifunda.com

Do not make borrowing a habit as you will suffer for it in the end.

Do not ride the high horse.

Do not rush into things before you are ready.

Do something as you have seen it done although it may be different from your own way of doing it.

Do the more urgent and important things first.

Do what you advise others to do.

Does liking a sad status update mean I’m sympathetic for them or I like that they are sad?

Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.

Don’t make things difficult for yourself, always find the simplest means of achieving your objective.

Don’t shut the barn door after the horse is gone.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Every bird loves to listen to himself sing.

Every family has a skeleton in the cupboard.

Every flow must have its ebb.

Every picture tells a story.

Everyone has a common beginning, and therefore, no one is above another.

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

Everything has to have a small beginning.

Faith will move mountains.

Fear is often a stronger emotion or motivation than even love.

Fix a problem as soon as you discover it to save money, expense, worry, etc having to deal with it later when it has become a bigger problem.

Flattery brings friends, truth enemies.

Forgive and forget.

Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

Give and take is fair play.

Goodness is better than beauty.

Grasp all, lose all.

Hard words break no bones.

He is rich who owes nothing.

He knows most who speaks last.

He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses.

He who lives too fast, goes to his grave too soon.

He who stands for nothing will fall for everything.

He’s so optimistic he’d buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.

Hope is life.

Hope is the last thing that we lose.

However tempted you may be to retaliate, try not to because revenge is a negative pursuit.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.

Status updates

when you are writing a status update and want to add a friend’s name to something you are posting, just include the “@” symbol before the name. As you type the name of what you would like to reference, a drop-down menu will appear that allows you to choose from your list of friends and other connections, including groups, events, applications and Pages.

I get a sense of pride and achievement when my boss catches me actually doing work.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

If something said about you is true, you should accept it.

If we associate with bad companions we, too, will become bad.

If we decide to do something, we should commit ourselves to it boldly and completely.

If winning is not everything why do they keep score?

If you buy quality, you only cry once.

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

If you don’t buy a ticket, you can’t win the raffle.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

If you keep your mouth shut, you won’t put your foot in it.

If you persevere at something, you will gradually accomplish it.

If you were born to be shot, you’ll never be hanged.

Inner beauty is more valuable than outer beauty.

Intelligence is more valuable than physical strength.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

It is believed that if one practices a certain skill often, he will excel in it.

It is best to be on the safe side.

It is better to be careful beforehand than to try to solve a problem after it has arisen.

It is better to show by example than to advise, order or tell people to be upright.

It is better to teach people how to be independent by teaching them how to do things for themselves than to do everything for them.

It is difficult to change a long-time habit.

It is impossible to change someone’s ways or habits, especially if he is old and resists change.

It is only normal for man to make mistakes and do wrong, but for one to forgive another for his wrong is indeed great and gracious act.

Items of good quality may be expensive, but they will last you a long time.

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What’s the proper etiquette here?

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Kindness begets kindness.

Learn as much as you can from life.

Learn to walk before you run.

Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!

Little enemies and little wounds must not be despised.

Live within your income, don’t be too ambitious in your plans.

Love motivates people to look for solutions to all problems.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Miracles will happen when you believe that they will.

Misery loves company.

My son is now an entrepreneur.Thats what you are called when you dont have a job.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Nice food pictures people, please keep it to yourself unless you’re planning on taking me along.

No man is so useful to others that people cannot do without him.

No two persons are alike, every one has his own preferences, likes and dislikes.

No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Notable or important people are often concerned about losing their positions.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

One good turn deserves another.

One success doesn’t guarantee complete success.

People have different tastes, preferences, perceptions of the same thing.

People like to hear good things said about them although they may not be the truth.

People tend to lose respect for people they are close to or in close company with all the time.

People tend to repeat mistakes made by others over the generations, not learning from them.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

People who have been through something are usually able to help others with the same problem.

People who know they are good at something tend to boast about their ability.

Phases of love. 1) xoxo. 2) xxx. 3) ex.

Poverty is no crime.

Quality comes with effort.

Seize a good opportunity as quickly as possible.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Some items may save you money because they are cheap, but their quality may be poor, and this may cost you a lot of money in repairs and getting replacements later.

Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Something that one already has is better than going after something seemingly more worthwhile that one may not be able to get.

Something that one already has is better than something that one may not be able to get.

Stay out of trouble, and trouble will not follow you.

Take care of the details and the bigger issues will be solved.

The best things are hard to come by.

The longer the title the less important the job.

The more you learn, the greater influence you have over others.

The one who waits to listen to what others have to say before speaking has a better understanding of a situation.

The passing of time helps us to forget things that have caused us pain or made us unhappy.

The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

The success of a group or team depends on the full commitment of every member.

The way you dress tells people something about you, and can influence their opinion of you.

There are no winners in life…only survivors.

Those people who have a little knowledge usually talk the most and make the greatest fuss.

Those without knowledge should not try to teach the ignorant.

To delay doing your work only wastes your time.

Unhappy people seem to like to make others unhappy too.

Unpleasant events can sometimes lead to better things.

We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.

We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.

We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

We are apt to grow to dislike friends who visit us too often.

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved. Did you sea what I did there? I’m shore you did, beach.

What has been said cannot be taken back, so think before you speak.

What is a disadvantage to one person can be an advantage to another.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car”.

When a person starts being successful, he is likely to continue being successful.

When one is in a new place, country or situation he must adapt himself to the new manners and customs.

When people are singing Happy Birthday to me, I have no idea where to look.

When there is no news, it is likely that everything is all right.

When you are free of a problem or far away from troublesome people, you begin to feel that things were not so bad after all.

When you are really hungry, everything tastes good, and you eat up everything placed in front of you.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Without ME, it’s just AWESO.

Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.

Working hard will bring you riches and success.

Worrying is a negative activity that can age you prematurely.

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

You can pretend to be rich, famous etc. by dressing the part.

You do not need to have too many friends or read too many books in order to live a balanced, fulfilled and complete life as long as the friends and books you do have are full of substance.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.

You must accept the consequences of your act.

You need not be long-winded when speaking to intelligent people or those who understand you well.

You need to eat for energy to complete your tasks.

You pays your money and you takes your chances.

You should be willing to give in partly to others if you want them to give in partly to you.

You will soon forget friends you do not meet or keep in contact with.

“Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?” Hobbes.

The primary key to the best status updates are creating ones that make people smile. Here are some examples of funny status updates for you.